HappiTec Software Introduces PIMP 2.0 Sure, there's rewards for playing the game, but it's not all about the high life. There's a lot of work to be done. You've got to keep track of your bitches' productivity. You've got to keep track of the cheddar you're slipping the five-o. You've got to know, in an instant, exactly where your funds are and where they're going. And you sure as hell aren't trusting all this to some cracker accountant. more
	Miracle Diet a Deadly Scam Promises of weight loss of up to 10 pounds a week prove true, the drug, however, is Salmonella. more
	Atlanta Pimp Offers Ho-Dar Seminar, Franchise Willy Kissinger is a pimp with a gift. "I can spot a ho." During the Atlanta pimp strike of 2000 Willy worked as a floater pimp, filling in here and there, brokering some transaction and smacking up some undercover vice cops. more
	1st Annual Who-Bang-A-Thon A Flop Mac Townsend and company were hoping for a party of unimaginable magnitude and some killer videos when they advertised and hosted the 1st annual who-bangathon. This event was intended to draw hootchies from all across the tri-county area to participate in a mad sequential orgy with him and his colleagues Jace Watson and Robbie Miller. more
	Dirty Whore-A-Scopes We recognize that not all people of all years born within a certain window need the same advice and fit the same profile. That's why at PimpCentral.org we appreciate broad diversity and write our horoscopes for YOU, whomever you may be... in this case, a dirty whore. more
	New Girlfriend Has A Complex AND A Simplex Since last month when Greg Pitt started dating "Foxy" Roxanne Norton, his friends have known she has a complex. "She's always bearing designer clothes, talking about her weight, money, and accusing (Greg) of being on drugs when he disagrees with her," reports Mary Jane, Greg's friend, who says she's never wanted to date him. more
	Drug Dealing Actually A Pyramid Zeek was a normal young man seeking a hookup just two weeks ago, now he faces a dilemma. "I went to my guy and he was like, 'hey, you're a pretty good customer, how would you like to get your stuff at wholesale?' and I was like, 'sure, who wouldn't?' but I knew there was a catch." more
	CDC Warns STD "Glitter" On The Rise At any given time the US Center for Disease Control is tracking the spread of as many as 85 sexually transmitted diseases ranging from monkey clap, genital ticks, corroso-gyne, to nasal gonnorhitis. This summer, however, glitter is fast becoming the epidemic in New England. more
	Police Praise "Scare-Pimp" Success "Crime is on the downturn," reports Northpoint City Mayor Michael Burgmann. "and I think the reason is clear." The reason, of course is the newest crime deterrent manufactured and marketed by Preventech Corp. of Hatfield, Michigan. more
	Teens Are Having Less Sex (in the missionary position) According to research conducted nationwide, conventional teen coitus is on the downturn. Not in favor of abstinence, but in favor of more exhausting, athletic and often dangerous positions. more
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