A
pimp's always gotta look good, even when he's on the dance
floor. I know, I know, dancing is for women. I know, I know,
men who dance are either pansies or named John Travolta.
Big deal. The fact of the matter is, a pimp has to be good
and able to outshow anyone at anything they are asked to
do. Except bestiality.
Start
by getting some dancing shoes. Some nice ones. Preferably
leather. Put those babies on and you're ready to dance.
I truly recommend practicing at home beforehand. Find yourself
a mirror, and pop in some good disco music. Now, dancing
is an art. It has to be fluid, beautiful, and sexy. They
say that the way a man dances is the way he has sex, so
you don't want to be out of rhythm and shaking all over
the place. Start by bobbing your head a little, and picking
up the beat. Begin to tap your foot to the bass. Start moving
your whole body. That's it. Now do something with your arms.
Yeah, wave them like that! Start shaking them legs of yours
from side to side. Exactly. Hey, don't look now, but you're
dancing. Nice work there. Now keep those moves in your head
and head out to the closest club. Scan the room, look for
fly ladies, then get your ass out there in the mix. Shake
your groove thing like you've never shaked it before (riverdancing
is not appropriate at this time)! After a lot of practice,
you'll be a dancing pimp. Every lady likes a guy who can
dance well, so you may want to bring along a 10-foot pole
to beat them away. Alright then. You're set. You may proceed
now, young grasshopper.
