Test Your Pimp Status in 10 steps

"Go away! Lucifer himself is here!"
-Christian Coalition against Pimps

"Easier than your mama! Cheaper too!"
-Lawrence Summers

"Dis shee-zee ain't even stoopid, mofo!"
-pHaT G, class of '98

Welcome to the Pimp Institute's certified Pimp Checklist
by Derek Greenfield

Here you will find step-by-step explanations on how to maximize your pimpdom. Learn how to:
- Increase your self-confidence!
- Get ass anytime, anywhere!
- Open your own brothel!
- And much much more. We'll show you how!

But don't take our word for it sucker, read some testimonials from successful graduates.

Throughout our checklist, you'll see this picture:
This denotes a practical Pimp Tip by Icebreaker G the Flaming Red Pirate. Read these tips carefully, as they not only contain invaluable information but will also help you learn the walk and talk of a full-fledged pimp.

The goods you be lookin' for

Step 1: So You Thinks You's A Pimp
Step 2: Making a Good First Impression - The Foreign Accent
Step 3: Get Some Ass - The Art of IZBitch Persuasion
Step 4: It Takes Two To Win An Egg Toss - Choosing Your Whores
Step 5: A Man's Home Is His Castle - Purchasing a Brothel
Step 6: So Now You've Got a Crib - The World of Advertising coming soon
Step 7: The Customer Is Always Right - Broke Ass Mofos coming soon
Step 8: How To Keep Your Employees Happy - Ass Patrol coming soon
Step 9: So Now You're Filthy Rich - Investing in Mutual Funds coming soon
Step 10: You're A Successful Pimp! Branching Out Into Related Fields coming soon